¡Las Aventuras en Ecuador!: Harsh Realities

This past week I have really been realizing the harsh realities of life for the kids and youth who live at the two orphanages where I volunteer (both in Quito and Cuenca). Most of the kids at both of these orphanages have been abandoned by their parents or have parents who just can’t care for them due to money or other issues. I have noticed that most of the older kids at these orphanages have issues with feeling unloved and unwanted. For most of the kids here, their parents don’t even make an effort to call them or ever see them. Because of this, of course they feel unloved and unwanted by their parents and it is almost impossible to feel loved when you live at an orphanage with 130 other kids. There is an older girl here at the orphanage in Quito who I have really been trying to pour into and spend a lot of time with because I noticed that she seems to feel depressed a lot of the time. One day in particular, she seemed really down and wouldn’t talk to anyone about what was wrong. She ended up writing me a letter that said this:

(the letter was obviously in Spanish but I will translate it into English)

“What is going on is that, well, it’s no important…I was thinking about me, or I mean why God has made me suffer so much. It all began when my mom and dad divorced and my mom left us and I had to move to the Foundation (the orphanage). I was really small and I didn’t know what was going on at the time but later it did harm to me and I felt like so much was missing. I wanted to come home from school and have somebody ask me “how was your day at school?” or something like that. I wanted that every night somebody would pray with me and tell me that they want me and that they love me and that I am a special person. And it’s sad because every time I see a family with a mom and dad together I feel jealous because I think of how my parents aren’t with me because they don’t love me or want me. Sometimes I want to die because I feel like nobody wants me or loves me and that I am not an important person for anyone. And even though I know that God loves me and all that, I still think that it is beautiful to receive a hug from a friend or your parents. I tell you this in a letter because I don’t like to cry in front of friends and also because I have never told this to anyone. You and god are the only ones who know.”

It breaks my heart so much because every child deserves to feel loved and wanted by their parents. The boys at the orphanage in Cuenca struggle with the same kind of feelings. I spent my weekend in Cuenca with the boys at the orphanage there and it was so good to see them and spend time with them. I adore them so much and they love it when I am there with them because they need the love and attention from a woman figure who cares for them. It was the birthday of one of the older boys at this orphanage. He turned 19. Will (my friend from Western who now lives in Cuenca) and I bought him and cake to have a little celebration at the orphanage. Later, the birthday boy told me that it was the first cake he had ever had a on a birthday. That was really hard for me to hear. I am so glad that I got to be there to celebrate with him and make his birthday at least a little bit special. He was sad on his birthday because neither his parents nor anyone else in his family tried to even call him or see him. He says that nobody loves him or cares about him.

I am trying to do all that I can to be somebody who is here for the boys at the orphanage in Cuenca and at the orphanage in Quito. Too be somebody who loves them and cares about them and shows interest in them because that is what they need and I truly do care about each one of them. My heart is so broken for each of them. I realize that there is only so much that I can do because I can’t replace their parents and I can’t erase all the pain they have felt in their lives. I also worry because I am only here for a temporary amount of time. Yes, I can be there for them now and make them feel loved and cared for now, but when I leave in a month, what is going to happen?

I know that I definitely have a heart that was made to love children like this and I want to do all that I can to help them. Here are some photos of my weekend in Cuenca at the orphanage: